A new type of "nugget"..

My life long dreams of making a career out of reception were crushed today… After only 3 short weeks of the mindless duties, I have officially been promoted. That’s right, promoted - three weeks. Thanks to my hard work and ‘impeccable’ reputation, the main executive assistant in our office chose me to be her new second in command, accomplice, her right hand ma--- woman if you will. I will be leaving behind the world of phones, mail, and ordering for a hopefully more exciting life of scheduling, shopping and party planning. Ohhh wait, I am forgetting one big portion of my new position, bitch. I am in every way, shape, and form at the beck and call of my employer. Sure, that is how most boss employee relationship goes. The boss rules, and the employee drools… right? Not exactly. These are not just any employers. In fact, they are the Bill Gates’ of the options trading universe. With that said, I am up for the challenge. I plan to become the best dang personal assistant there ever was. Hey who knows, if I do well here… LA here I come!! I’m sure Chelsea Handler would love me to be her next Chewy. I would make a cute “lil’ nugget.”

I met the love of my life…

His name is Mitch, Mitch Rapp, and he is the love of my life. Okay okay, so I’ve never actually met him, but I sure feel like I have.  Rapp is the main character of novelist Vince Flynn’s award winning political thrillers. Now I want to start by enlightening you all, I am by no means a big reader. In fact there are only a handful of books that I have conquered without a teachers bearing. Luckily, while browsing a garage sale at the beginning of last summer, I came upon a box of weathered books. At the top of the pile was a white paperback with an image of a burning American flag embossed on the cover. Reading the back description drew me to the point of a teenage girl at the B-96 Bash. I was immediately wired to the passion and truth that this novel seemed to contain.

Now reading Flynn’s 4th novel out of the 11 book series, I have become quite attached to not only the stories, but also to the lead Mitch Rapp. Mitch is a brawny, intelligent, and slightly arrogant CIA operative. He heads the Orion team, a secret sect of the CIA that deals with international terrorist threats by use of “illegal” force. In the novel, as in real life, all the good catches are taken. Mitch is head over heels in love with the beautiful white house press member, Anna Rielly, who he had the pleasure of saving from a Whitehouse terrorist attack in the second novel. Aka. Even if Rapp weren’t a fictional character, I would have zero chance in hell against the super model type of Ms. Rielly.

All in all, my big question is, where can I find one of these men? Do I need to move to D.C? Maybe write up some terrorist threats on my own? I mean, I doubt the Rapps of the world frequent McFadden’s or Sidebar on their non-existent days off. Please help; I really do want a cold-hearted Mitch of my own ;)

Snuggie!

“Snuggies are much more useful if you place your legs through the arm holes!”

GUESS WHAT?!?! Last night I won a… a, a, A SNUGGIE!!! Actually it was a Snuggie Deluxe, but that makes the news twice as awesome. Every Tuesday night for the past handful of weeks a group of friends and I have attended Trivial Night at State Bar & Grill on Webster. And every Tuesday night we are disappointed by our underperformance throughout the Trivia round, and by our lack of luck in the end of night raffle. Until now! This past Tuesday my best friend did it! In her hand she held the token, the crown, the golden ticket if you will. As with the other nights we waited in suspense as the numbers were called… 2-2-5-9-6-0----5!!! Up jumped Jackie, “I won!” Unfortunately for her, aka me, all she had won was a measly $10 iTunes gift card. This card could never compare to the warmth and comfort that comes with owning a Sunggie blanket, which is one of the many other raffle giveaways. I devised a plan. We would trade up! So I grabbed the gift card, walked straight over to the winning table, and the following conversation ensued…

Me: (with a sly yet sleazy grin on my face) “Have you ever heard of the show Lets Make a Deal?”

Poor Sucker Girl: “ummm, yea.”

Me: “Well, I have a $10 iTunes gift card. What do you have?”

Poor Sucker Girl: “uhh, a Snuggie?”

Me: “Exactly!”

As I uttered the last syllable, the valuable Snuggie Deluxe was simply handed over to me as if it was a piece of trash, and I passed along the tunes card without a flinch. I smiled in triumph, for we were now the proud owners of a tremendous ocean blue Snuggie! I now have everything a girl could ever ask for…. Except a Sham wOw of course.

New jobbbb...

Now that I am steps away from graduation, I have finally decided what I want to do with the rest of my life!!!! I want to be a receptionist… wellll. Okay, you got me, I don’t want to be a receptionist forever, but it is the new gig my long time employer just placed me in, and to tell the truth it isn’t all that bad. I mean, I don’t expect young girls to start running around telling people that “when they grow up” they want to be receptionists, but I find it to be a quite satisfying position for a newly graduated 22 year old. My basic responsibilities include answering the phone, ordering snacks/supplies, as well as accepting sending and sorting mail, all of which most minimally trained monkeys hold the ability to do. Other tasks of mine consist of answering questions, greeting guests, completing daily tasks for the firm partners, all while also carrying on with my old duties of being a media intern. After this explanation it is easy to see that my new job cannot be encapsulated by the simple yet tedious description “receptionist.” Instead, much more is needed. This brought me to the idea that I need to create a new title for the many a girls that are bound to sit in my position throughout the years. Many words came to mind including “bestest helper ever,” “hottest girl in the office,” even “do you need something?” made the list. I finally came to the conclusion that my job title should be CEO, but was rudely informed that that name had already been issued. All in all the simple title of receptionist will have to stick for the time being. At least until the next flighty girl falls into my rolly chair, or until CEO opens up.