The Friend Zone

Okay okay, so I want to pre-curse this with the fact that I found this article saved to my computer this morning. It is likely about 6 months old. COMPLETELY forgot writing it, but read away.

     So let start by saying, WHATtttt thEEE FUckkk is WROnggg With MEEE?!? Okay okay, that is a little dramatic, but it is sometimes how I feel. I have come to the conclusion that the reason I feel this way is because of something often called “The Friend Zone.” I am a really pretty girl, well “kinda really pretty” by certain peoples standards, but whatever the case I am not in any form of the word unattractive. I even attract guys, and for that matter I attract them quite often.

     My last handful of “relationships” have not ended well… and by ended I mean, they never really started. One of these friendships ended with a simple explanation of, “Sardine, I’m engaged, but want to go get drinks tomorrow?” Well when you put it that way of coarse I want to keep hanging out with you, and breaking some innocent girls heart. Friend zone…. Another started; I mean ended with a text message - “I’m glad you are so cool with us hanging out casually like this.” Ummm casually like what? I was under the impression that you coming over all the time, inviting me to go out, and talking to me on the phone meant something a tad bit different. Yea, that’s correct – I thought you wanted to date me. Friend zone… This third one takes the cake. Numero trace halted by the guy in question pouring his heart out to me about how thoroughly in love he was with one of my good friends. REALLYYYY?!?! We just had sex a couple hours ago, and now you are telling me you love… HER?! Friend zone.

     From this point forward I am declaring myself friend zone free. I will not be your friend with benefits, nor will I be one of the guys. I will be a flirt, tease, and seductive women of honor… or so I hope.

SNOWWWSTOORRRMMMM!!!!!

So this past Sunday weather reports started warning Chicago about a “snowpocalypse” storm that was to hit us Tuesday night. As if we weren’t depressed enough that the Bears season was over, let alone that we were constantly listening to a bunch of cheeseheads rub in their victory, Mother Nature had to throw this drama in our face. So this “epic storm” the news reported, was to have 40 MPH winds and white out across the city. That storm, it’s here. The entire day at work people were running around making excuses on how they better run home in fear. Fear of what you ask? Well, frozen water of course and a little bit of wind. Oooo I’m shivering in my Uggs. I wanted to shake everyone, and remind them that they live in the Midwest. When exactly were they planning to realize that it snows here? I mean, did they have to slam themselves head first into a snow bank in order to figure out we are north of Cancun? All I have to say is that snow isn’t all that bad, so quit all the bitching. A lot of people got to leave work early, and another handful wont even have to make their morning commute tomorrow. Sit at home, watch some Style Police, and drink your weight in hot cocoa. Most of all, realize that there are far worse things happening in the world to worry your little minds about than some measly snowstorm.


PS. While my coworkers cowered in fear, all I could think about was a citywide snowball fight, and checking into “Snowpocalypse: Chicago 2011 on FourSquare!